Curahee Hostage Rescue

Four brave pax showed up for a Wall-E beatdown. YHC warned the pax the previous night that we would be embarking on a little mosey. That scared off Goldilocks who was complaining of cramping in a part of the lower half of his body. YHC, in the interest of keeping it clean, will not mention the specific body part, but my M uses the same excuse at times…

YHC lives in an ultra-exclusive neighborhood along Prestwood Lake. We have very high standards for landscaping and general appearance, or at least we HAD high standards until Schaffer showed up and thought it was a good idea to leave his mess all strewn about like a tornado just hit a trailer park. One particularly galling example was the fact that he had a trailer full of telephone poles from the Fox CSAUP. That worthy event ended 02/04/17. Today's date is 05/19/17. Place palm on forehead. After several calls to local police and the Mayor got nowhere, YHC decided to take matters into his own more than capable hands. This was an opportunity for a little Curahee mosey.

The plan was to debark from the Curahee AO, move at a fast clip and "rescue" some log hostages. Being the intrepid Q, YHC decided to check one more time to make sure Schaffer had not used the poles for some white trash home improvement project, when to YHC's shock and dismay, the logs were not there, nor was his trailer. This presented a problem that needed solving and quick.

YHC made a new plan for administering pain to the pax and was about to call it into action at Curahee, when lo and behold, several logs were sitting all pretty by the brick pile. Evidently the constant reminders, dirty messages scrawled on Schaffer's truck and multiple voicemails threatening legal action prompted Schaffer to get rid of the logs. Back to Plan A. Plan B will be used another day...

The four of us selected 3 poles. YHC, being a stout man worthy of the name, opted to carry his own log. Judge Judy, being in awe at the presence of his mentor and hero, took up a little log as well. Eisenhower and Italian Stallion, being of the weaker, paler, frailer sort, whined and complained about having to carry their own log, so YHC in a moment of compassion for lesser men, allowed them to share the load on one 2x4. We set off at a devilish pace for Schaffer's house, which is 1 mile from Curahee.

Every 100 yards or so, YHC would wait several minutes for Eisenhower and Italian Stallion to show up with their little toothpick. Judge Judy was curling his totem pole and tossing it like an angry Scotsman at the Highland Games. Judge Judy is young and impressionable, and YHC knows he just wants to impress his hero. It's just like when your 5 year old comes up to you with a picture he drew in kindergarten. Most parents gush about how beautiful it is and put it on the refrigerator, take photos and send it to the digital universe for validation. In my house we directed our kids to a picture by Van Gogh or Picasso and told them to come back when they had something worth looking at. Making winners is not for sissies. YHC told Judge Judy to go fetch his little stick and let me know when he could swing it like a baseball bat and hit a bowling ball with it. Judge Judy was a little crestfallen, but YHC could see a gleam in his eye when YHC demonstrated the activity for him and knocked a hole in the town water tower half a mile away. (That was actually an accident. YHC was aiming for a certain senator's office, but the wind must have carried it a little to the right. We'll repair it on my next Q.)

We finally arrived at Schaffer's house and deposited one log there, one in Bowtie's truck and one at TaterSalad's house, where we posed on his front porch for a little victory photo. He was in for a surprise when he opened the door to find a huge telephone pole leaning against it. Hopefully his M was not the first one out of the house. She really scares me.

All that was left to do at this point was to sprint back to Carolina Lunch for a little 2nd F and some bacon and eggs. Judge Judy peeled off, no doubt still smarting from YHC's rebuke, and said something about going back to bed. Eisenhower claimed he had to go to school, probably because of the lesson YHC taught him. Italian Stallion beat YHC to Carolina Lunch, knowing he didn't bring his wallet and that YHC would pay for his breakfast.

Overall, YHC was impressed with everyone's effort. Our mission this morning did not allow for any gray manning, as everybody was toting a load the whole time. T-claps to Eisenhower who is taking to this rucking thing like a pig to slop. Judge Judy had him doing intervals on the way back, which is just plain sadistic. T-claps to Italian Stallion for doing the hard thing and taking the long way back to Curahee. T-claps to Judge Judy for toting his own log. We all got better together.

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